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Emotions, emotions, and more emotions...
So I don't really want to post about this, I know that Josh doesn't really want me to post this, but I need an outlet. In my resolutions post, I talked about the fact that we were going to be meeting with a fertility specialist at some point this year. Well that time has come. Next Monday (Feb. 2), we go to meet with a doctor in Birmingham, just for the initial consultation. I'm very excited about it, but at the same time, I hate that it's come to this. I know that I'm probably not going to make sense to most of you, but I also know that some of you have felt the same emotions. I'm scared...I'm scared so much that I keep thinking about cancelling the appointment. I held out hope that maybe I would get pregnant before Monday, and wouldn't have to do this...no such luck. I know that's one reason, probably the biggest reason I'm so upset right now. The reason that I think I'm so scared is that, I don't want to do this and it not work...for some reason I'm feeling mighty selfish all of the sudden, but it's true. I, like so many other women out there, already go through the pain every month of getting my hopes up that I'm pregnant, literally "giving" myself pregnancy "symptoms", taking a test, and getting the negative result. I don't know if I can go through treatments and have the same thing happen over and over...I'm not that strong.
I know I've rambled enough, and I feel like I'm complaining or something, so I'll leave it at that. I do ask that you keep me and Josh in your prayers as we start this new journey in our life. We both need strength more than anything.
Thanks for reading. 
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10 comments:
I'm sorry... I don't know what you're going through from this side of things but I do know what it feels like to have your life take a completely different direction than what you'd planned out in your mind, and that is frustrating. I don't have magic words to make it better but just leave it in God's hands and try not to worry- easier said than done, I know! Maybe you will get some answers that will be helpful. I hope everything goes well.
I can't imagine what you are feeling right now, but know that you are in my prayers. I have that appointment written down in my calendar book to remind myself to pray for yall on that day.
I too don't know how you feel personally, but I have a cousin and a close friend who have gone through this and both had a sucsessful outcome. I do think you are doing the right thing sharing this and asking for prayers. The more people know, the more people can be praying for you and Josh as you go through this expierience. Giving your fears, and anixeties over to God is the best thing, yet the hardest to let go of...I'll keep you guys in my prayers. Keep us posted on how things go.
Amanda, I don't have any first hand knowledge about your situation, but I DO Have a beautiful neice that is the product of fertility treatments! We'll be praying for you guys. It's not easy,I know, but you guys will get through it together, seeking God's blessing and strength each day! Much love to you both!
I'm so very sorry that you're having to go through this, Amanda. Both of you guys will be in our prayers. Just hold fast to God & each other - I know that He will see you guys through this.
Prayers are on their way up.
Thinking of ya'll and hoping you get the information and answers you're wanting on Monday. Put God first and everything else will fall into place.
I will keep ya'll in my prayers. I know what you are fixing to go thru and I'm hear for you anytime you want to vent, for encouragement or support. Just give me a call. I know you can get through it and maybe it won't take long. Love you girl.
I am thinking and praying for you both. I hope everything goes well.
Sorry I'm so long writing. I hope that everything goes well today and I love you. I will most definitely keep you in my prayers!
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