What I'm talking about is ME! There are things that I want to do, that I want to accomplish. There are goals, big and small, that I want to meet and exceed if at all possible, but I'm not pushing myself!! Why not? I have resources, ability and the determination if I would only set my mind to it! I've put myself into a rut...a lousy routine of day to day life without any real challenges (I just had to ask Josh for this word b/c it totally left me...SEE WHAT I MEAN!) I need to be challenged...I need to push myself. I'm not getting younger by any means. I have lists of things that I want to do. I think in the last few years I've marked off maybe 2?! That's sad to me...I want to look back one day and realize that I enjoyed my life to the fullest. I want to make a difference. I want my life to have some meaning.
I've been praying, a lot lately actually, for God to reveal his plan for me. I have one major fear in my life...this is probably the only thing that I really fear...
Making the wrong decision.
I'm terrified of not doing what I'm "supposed" to be doing. There are two major life changing scenarios that have been on my mind, pretty much 24/7 lately...
I won't go into detail about either...There is so much detail about each that I don't want to burden anyone with my "nonsense".
If I could ask for anything from my fellow bloggers/readers, it would be this:
How do you know what path you are supposed to follow. How do you get a sense of peace with the decisions that you make? How do you not worry that you are setting yourself up for failure and/or heartbreak?
I do want to say thank you to my sweet husband, Josh. He is so patient with me and my questions about life, and I know that he supports me no matter what! Any decisions that I make affects us both - Trust me, I never have or will make a decision without his input! I love you babe!
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I have always gone after what I wanted most in life ~ and can name on one hand the number of times I was told 'no' only to then realize those were my biggest blessings. Ex: I wanted to be a flight attendant; the day I got a ticket from United to fly to Chicago for an interview, I also found out I was pregnant with Jenny :)
What are your dreams, Amanda? Then work your tail off to make the first one come true, at the same time setting the stage for the second dream.
If you do your best, then God will see to it that you are blessed beyond measure ~ and you'll look back, like me, and know that His dreams can be larger than ours.
So?! What's that first dream you want to come true?!
(Oh, and never ever settle for second best.)
I say don't hold back... and do what makes you happy.
Now, I'm the first to admit I have a big problem focusing because I am always starting something new. I usually have several things going at once and that makes it so hard for me to get things accomplished. I'm working on that. I have a hard time saying "no" too. Ultimately I know the Lord is by my side and will lead me through whatever I encounter, and I feel He has always led Chad and I to making decisions for our family.
We missed seeing y'all this weekend. We didn't stay in the heat long but we had a good time. :)
I think this blog is what a lot of people in life are going through. We all wonder where we need to go and if we are even headed in the right direction. My words of encouragement to you are to constantly pray about each decision (big or small) and to trust in the Lord that He will guide you.
Just over the past several months I have made so many giant leaps in my life and opened up many new chapters all at the same time, all wondering "oh my goodness, is this the right thing for me?" (graduating college, getting married, beginning a career, moving..) ALL of these things in my life were made only through Trusting in the LORD with all my heart, and leaning NOT on my OWN understanding..but in ALL my ways acknowledging him....and HE DIRECTED MY PATHS!!
Praying for you now as you journey through this part of your life!
I understand what you are talking about. I have felt that way to. I think you should follow your heart and do what makes you happy and let the Lord take care of all the worries and just trust in him to guide you. I pray daily that the Lord leads me the right way and makes me a better person. That is all you can do. You are such a great person and I know you will meet your goals it just takes time and patience.
I have discovered- in choosing my mate, my career, my degree, when to have a child, etc....is that sometimes you just have to go with you heart and trust that God will bless you if you are trying to follow his will. God doesn't always give us clear cut answers in this life, but he does have the ability to bless our decisions if we strive each day to glorify him. Could I have glorified him by being a teacher, rather than a nurse...sure! And I'm sure that he would have blessed me in that profession just as he has blessed me in my current one. The wonderful thing about life is, you can change it! Keep your head up, pray a lot, and go with your heart! You can do anything you set your mind to! :)
Amanda,
I am so so sorry that you are feeling this way lately. Believe me, I have been there. I actually felt the same thing this morning...just frustrated in WAITING. But one thing that I know is true...we have to accept that the Lord knows every decision that we will EVER make...no decision is ever WRONG. His path for you was already laid in stone the day you were born...BEFORE you were even born. He knows what His plans for you are and wants you to live life to the fullest. Please let Him give you peace knowing that He will make all crooked paths straight...lean on Him.
Praying for you friend!
I love you and I will pray that you can find what it is you are most looking for. I understand being confused. Just pray pray pray and continue to be the Godly woman that you are.
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